There seems to be an ever-growing cultural orientation that says that patience is just a waste of time.
We work with, buy from, drive along side of, move among people who seemed determined to either be offensive, incompetent, or determined to make our lives more difficult. And often if we are confrontational and/or demanding, we get a better response. Certainly if we go along, we can get trampled.
Popular culture loves to make movies, stories and music around the person who doesn't take any crap off anyone. Yet we know that is a highly risky behavior since we really don't know the outcome for many of those scenarios.
So is there a way to develop patience in a manner that doesn't require a lobotomy or a problematic drug habit?
I would suggest that for those of us prone to impatience, a key could be the development of reasonable plans and mini-plans. It may sound beaurocratic, but its pretty simple actually.
Instead of expecting everything to go perfectly, we need to keep the end goal in mind and expect some bumps along the way. (geez, I hate listening to myself right now)
This requires broadly defining our time and experience. Plus allowing for people to function within our space in a way that may be different than ourselves (you bastard).
Then we must approach business and life with the confidence that:
1. We can get where we want to go.
2. There is more than one way to get there.
3. There may be delays, detours or challenges that, in fact, could enrich or improve or not affect the outcome at all. And we need to go with them instead of fighting them.
(I'm pretty sure I'll never read my blog again. I'd rather be a crotchety old malcontent.)
Hey, do the best you can. But try to give us a break. We're really not trying to ruin your day or your life. We're just trying to get on with ours.
If you have a plan, let us know where you are trying to go and we'll do the best we can for you.
Allen: I'd go a little different direction on your statement that there "seems to be an ever-growing cultural orientation that says that patience is just a waste of time."
ReplyDeleteOr at least use a different word, which is the "mother" [heh, even "father" - no reason why this word can't be gender inclusive) of patience: love.
Our plans must recognize that we are in relationship. Few of us really act out on that urge to live in a cave in Montana (let's not wander off into the emotional caveman thing - which, by the way, really can be gender neutral). Your good quip of "try to give us a break" points to the fact that while our "inner child" is seeking relationship, we push back even as we really want to reach out.
Indeed, your penultimate statement ("we'll do the best we can for you") is founded on this love of others.
You're not fooling me with that "crotchety old malcontent" description of yourself.
You're just a natural-born entertainer.